Get Out!

It’s grey, not pink, that’s a bit of a shock 

But now that it’s out let’s see what we’ve got 

Too many, too much, I’ll make a big pile 

Sifting through this could take quite a long while 

It’s grey, not pink, that’s a bit of a shock

But now that it’s out let’s see what we’ve got

Too many, too much, I’ll make a big pile

Sifting through this could take quite a long while

Small heaps perhaps to the left and the right

The good and the bad, the dark and the light

This one is sadness, it must belong there

Along with contrition, pain and despair

This is a memory of happiness lost

Where do I put it? Shouldn’t it be tossed?

Or kept in a pile with hope and a dream

Of a ghost’s soft reproach ‘Carpe Diem’

Arranged before me, they’re not as I thought

A mountain on one side; how hard I fought

To hold an echo and hoard the shadows

A mound on the other, the things I chose

To leave in the light, hoping they would grow

Hope is the first, a sprout, starting to show

Joy is there too but a almost unrecognised

Love their companion albeit disguised

Now to decide, what to keep, what is thrown?

What goes back? Good or bad it’s all I’ve known

For so long, same thoughts again and again

It’s not so easy to clean out my brain.

The last few days have been pretty grim. Maybe it’s because Valentine’s day is just round the corner, maybe it’s because grief just decides to beat the crap out of you sometimes, I honestly don’t know but sadness is just eating away at me. I’ve spent the last 5 years finding coping mechanisms to stay strong and keep positive, to enjoy each day as it comes but, right now, I have negative thoughts chasing around my head like puppies on speed.

This morning I thought how wonderful it would be if I could just take out my brain, give it a good shake and get rid of all the negative shit that seems to be clogging it up – hence this poem. Have you ever felt like that? I’d love to hear from you if you have.

Lisa x

Complete Clarity

Stood on my head the World seemed right

Closing my eyes, I saw the light

Opened the blinds and the day is dark

Covered my ears, heard an ant bark

Stood on my head the World seemed right

Closing my eyes, I saw the light

Opened the blinds and the day is dark

Covered my ears, heard an ant bark

Walked on the ceiling, steps quite sure

Watch the snake as he writes on the floor

Speaking in tongues he hears what I say

“I’m  really not feeling quite right today!”

Lisa

x

Profound….

I really had the urge to say something profound today

but then I realised that I just wanted people to think

that I had something profound to say

so I’ll say nothing………….

I really had the urge to say something profound today

but then I realised that I just wanted people to think

that I had something profound to say

so I’ll say nothing………….

Lisa x

Where is Your G Spot???

Where do you get your best ideas for your blog? You know, those posts where you feel like you’ve created something really special and you want everyone to read it right away. Do you have a special place that just seems to feed you inspiring thoughts? I like to call it the Genius Spot, hence the title…..ooohhh you thought I meant……noooo sorry, I was talking about something else entirely!

Where do you get your best ideas for your blog? You know, those posts where you feel like you’ve created something really special and you want everyone to read it right away. Do you have a special place that just seems to feed you inspiring thoughts? I like to call it the Genius Spot, hence the title…..ooohhh you thought I meant……noooo sorry, I was talking about something else entirely!

Chuck-Norris-doesnt-turn-on-the-shower-memeFor me it’s the shower. Before you ask, I have absolutely no idea why; it’s not as if I’m at my best first thing in the morning. Normally it takes at least 2 cups  coffee before my brain is firing on all cylinders but, when it comes to writing, around 80% of my ideas come when I’m standing under the water and trying not to get shampoo in my eyes. It’s usually a single word that just pops into my head and then the idea for the post just seems to form around it. Irritatingly the initial thought then just wanders off to do its own thing but I’m left with my inspiration for the day.

So, come on where is your Genius Spot? Where’s your magical place where ideas run free and unfettered? Perhaps you’ve found a beautiful sunlit glade that stimulates your grey matter, maybe you’ve got a favourite chair and when you sit in it the thoughts just flow. Do you get your best ideas sitting on the toilet; you can tell me, I promise I won’t laugh, I’m a shower cogitator for God’s sake ;O)

Why the Chuck Norris meme? Well, to be honest it has only the very slightest relevance but I really love Chuck Norris jokes…….you can share some of those as well if you like….

Anyway, please let me know, I’d love to hear from you

 

Lisa x

Well That Explains a Lot……

Have you ever had one of those moments when a thought rocks up in your mind and does a ta-daah! with some jazz hands? A moment of clarity that lights up the inside of your head like a cerebral firework display? They don’t come along too often but when they do you just sit back and think ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Huh!! Well that explains a lot’

Have you ever had one of those moments when a thought rocks up in your mind and does a ta-daah! with some jazz hands? A moment of clarity that lights up the inside of your head like a cerebral firework display? They don’t come along too often but when they do you just sit back and think ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Huh!! Well that explains a lot’

Eyeore.jpgI had one of those moments yesterday. I was not feeling like a little ray of sunshine, more a small dark cloud that you know is just going to drizzle on you all day and I got to thinking……why do I keep feeling like this? Just when things seem to be going my way at long last, and I’m finding contentment again, these negative thoughts gatecrash my happy part and fuck it all up. Then it hit me! My subconscious was screwing with me!

I’m not sure what sort of relationship you have with your subconscious but mine is a bit of a dick. He sneaks around behind the scenes mugging perfectly rational thoughts and then beating them up until they agree to become neuroses; even the strong, positive ones usually cave in and become niggling doubts! Anyway, I digress,where was I? Oh yes right my moment of clarity……

Just to give a bit of context here, I lost my husband just over 4 years ago; we received the diagnosis of cancer in the July and he was gone by the following April. At the time we were as happy as we had ever been; we’d previously had a rough few years because my husband lost both his parents after long illnesses and looking after them had put a great strain on him. I’d had issues with my business which had a put a strain on me as well but we’d got past all that and we finally had it all: a lovely home, no money worries, trips abroad a couple of times a year, week-ends away when the fancy took us. More than that, we were completely happy together; I had never been as happy as I was then……..

Pie in the faceAnd what happened? Life, God, alternative existential entity comes along and pulls the metaphorical rug out from under me. Pulls it so hard that I do a complete cat flap and crash onto my back barely able to breathe, let alone move. It was like a cosmic slapstick comedy moment: Your life is perfect? Excellent! Now, wait for it, here comes the pie in the face……oh how the universe must have chuckled!

Anyway, getting back to my bastard of  a subconscious, it seems that he had been busy linking those two things together – ‘complete, total happiness’ and ‘World ending heartbreak’. Now, to give him his due, it may be that, in some twisted way, he was trying to protect me but the message that he sent to my cerebral cortex was:

“Each time you start to feel happy – STOP!!!! If you don’t something terrible will happen!!”

Can you see now why it was a bit of a Eureka moment? I was stopping myself from being happy because I had mentally connected being happy with being miserable…..as I said my subconscious is a sick and twisted little sod. So what does all this mean? Well, I’m hoping that, now I’ve realised what he’s been up to, I’ll be able to stop him then next time he tries to screw with my happiness.

Have you ever had anything like that? A moment of clarity that just put everything into perspective for you? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you….

Lisa x

poem- — mtaggartwriter

Morning All :O) How are we all today? I just had to share this with you because of it’s sheer simplistic elegance and eloquence. I love Matt’s writing but this really blew my mind – I hope that you enjoy it too.

Our thoughts think themselves through even when we don’t want them to So we stand looking at their faces seeing beyond what we are seeing -M. Taggart

via poem- — mtaggartwriter

Morning All :O) How are we all today? I just had to share this with you because of it’s sheer simplistic elegance and eloquence. I love Matt’s writing but this really blew my mind – I hope that you enjoy it too.

Have a great day everyone

Lisa x