$10,000 or Clams?

Thanks to the media obsession with Kim Kardashian’s rounded, peachy and frankly gravity defying backside, it would seem that big bums are in fashion and, guess what, for around $10,000 you can get one of your very own.

When I was in my teens the plaintiff cry of ‘my bum looks huuuuggggee in this’ would be emanating from the changing rooms of Miss Selfridge and Top Shop pretty much every Saturday. Whilst, for us, it was a cause for much heartfelt sympathy and quiet reassurance, now it would seem to be a cause for celebration. Thanks to the media obsession with Kim Kardashian’s rounded, peachy and frankly gravity defying backside, it would seem that big bums are in fashion and, guess what, for around $10,000 you can get one of your very own. kim_kardashian

Basically, cosmetic surgeons will suck out any spare fat that you have lying around (love handles seem to be a popular source) and inject it into your derriere. Of course, you won’t really be allowed to let your butt make contact with anything for a couple of weeks, you’ll have to wear a compression garment for six weeks and exercise will be off limits for about a month but afterwards you’ll have a nice high rounded hiney. Apparently about 60 percent of the fat will stay in place after the procedure and the rest will just wander off to somewhere else in your body. Oh, and one other thing, it’s also considered the most risky of all cosmetic surgeries; risk of death that it…..

If you don’t fancy any of that but would still like to attain the peach like orbs that a butt lift would give you, you could do a few specially designed exercises. The result won’t be as quick and your arse won’t inflate to quite the same degree but, it’s a lot safer than the sucking and injecting of body fat and considerably less painful.

This exercise should be done slowly and when you are at the top of your Bridge you should maintain the position for a few seconds by squeezing those cheeks



squatsLast but not least we have squats; they are not the most popular exercise I find but they do work wonderfully well at firming up those booty muscles as well as giving you stronger and leaner thighs.


The other good thing about doing things the natural way is that you won’t need to be forking out loads of cash to another plastic surgeon when you want all the fat sucked out of your arse because the media has moved on from Kim Kardashian and big butts are not longer a la mode!


Would you give your child cocaine?

“if you’re a good girl, we’ll stop off at MacDonalds afterwards as a ‘treat'”

In a news article out today, a doctor is calling for weight-loss surgery to be more readily availble for children; he claims that it’s a necessary measure to stem the rise of obesity in the young. Essentially he is urging parents to put their kids under the knife, before they are fully matured and promoting the removal of a large portion of the stomach so that the intake of food that will satisfy their appetite will be greatly reduced.

I will no doubt be called out for saying this but wouldn’t it be simpler, cheaper and less traumatic for the child to speak to the parents about nutrition and exercise? This ‘obesity epidemic’ has only come about since the mass consumption of processed and fast foods and the inclination of kids to spend their days glued to their mobile phones rather than being outside kicking around a football or riding a bike so why can’t we start there?

It’s been known for sometime that sugar is highly addictive and yet it is added, in one form or another, to virtually all junk food and processed foods. Some scientists say that it’s more addictive than cocaine but parents seem to be quite happy to continue shovelling it down their kid’s throats in the name of ‘convenience’. It also doesn’t help that parents will often negotiate with their children using sugar as a bargaining chip – “if you’re a good girl, we’ll stop off at MacDonalds afterwards as a ‘treat'” or “be a good boy and we’ll buy you some sweets”………

This sends the message that sugar is a reward for good behaviour.

Conversely, vegetables and fruit are, I would imagine, rarely used for motivation; how many parents say “be good and you can have vegetable stir fry for dinner”?

I’m not saying that parents who use food as carrot or stick are bad for doing so; I certainly grew up with the idea that sweets were treats but that was before the days of sugar being hidden in absoutely everything so I didn’t consume enough of it to become addicted…………

Exercise, or lack thereof, is another contributor to obesity in the young. I wonder how many children walk to school these days rather than have their parents drop them off in the car on the way to work? How many exercise with their parents on a regular basis; go out for a walk, go swimming etc? How many play team sports on a regular basis? Finally, how many do all of these things but in a virtual world?

Cutting out lumps of kids’ stomachs is not the answer; fresh natural foods and regular exercise are the things that will end the ‘obesity crisis’ but I guess that’s a pretty old fashioned idea………..

Too much?

‘wow! You look well’ not ‘hmm you look different’

Let’s be honest, none of us likes getting wrinkles or sagging skin but what can we do about it? These are perfectly natural signs of aging and will happen to everybody at some point but, women especially, are constantly bombarded with media images that promote youth and beauty and therefore it is ingrained in many of us that we must strive to keep both for as long as possible. A healthy lifestyle, diet and exercise can certainly help keep the signs of aging at bay but, for some of us, that’s just not enough and so we turn to surgery. Many years ago surgery meant a facelift; pretty drastic and, if not done well, it can leave you looking like you’ve been standing inside a wind tunnel for too long.

20-worst-cases-of-celebrity-plastic-surgery-gone-wrong-1Believe it or not these two pictures are of the same woman. Some of the facial changes will be due to aging but most are due to excessive plastic surgery. In the picture on the right hand side you can see remnants of the original face but it looks weirdly distorted and completely unnatural.

Her brow has less lines than in the original picture and her lips have more volume but, in the original picture, she was maybe 20 years younger. This is not how our faces are supposed to age and, because other signs of aging are evident, hooded eyes for example, the whole effect is just a little bizarre.

However, if the recipient of the surgery is happy who are we to criticise?

You don’t have to opt for face-lifts to look younger these days, you can go for Botox or fillers instead; they are far less drastic and don’t leave you in a darkened room for a fortnight whilst your scars heal. Botox, a toxin which is injected into the face and reduces lines and wrinkles by paralysing underlying muscles, is incredibly popular with millions of treatments administered every year. Dermal fillers are also injected but they are designed to plump certain areas of the face which lose volume over the years such as lips and cheeks. A good treatment should result in comments like ‘wow! You look well’ not ‘hmm you look different’

images (22)Unfortunately, as with everything else in life it’s easy to get carried away. You make a subtle change but then, for you, that becomes the norm so you make another change which may be less subtle but then, eventually, you become accustomed to that look and so it goes on.

If you decide to opt for botox, fillers or any kind of surgical enhancement, take the time to find the right practitioner and make sure that you have a consultation before undertaking any procedure, more than one if you are in any way hesitant about the process.

You can expect to pay between £150 and £300 for each session and it can be much more, depending on what you have done so make sure that you are clear on pricing before you go ahead. A good practitioner should be completely open and honest with you, explaining risks and potential results very clearly. The procedures can be uncomfortable (after all someone is injecting your face!) but they should not be painful as such. The practitioner should use an anaesthetic cream on the area before they start so that you are more comfortable.

With botox, the results are not immediate so you need to wait a few days to see the full effect but with fillers you will see the changes immediately. You may find that there is a small amount of swelling or bruising around the site but this will usually disappear within a couple of days.

Any kind of surgical procedure comes with risks so you need to do your research before going ahead but the results can do wonders for your self-esteem. Just bear in mind that the results don’t last forever so you will need to go back to see your practitioner maybe a couple of times a year

%d bloggers like this: