What Do You Do For You?

How much of what you do is based on ‘ought’ or ‘should’? How much of your time is spent wondering how what you do will affect others? How often do you not do something that you would love to do in favour of doing something to please someone else? Is your first thought before wearing something, saying something, writing something ‘will they like it?’ If so, I have a question for you…..

How much of what you do is based on ‘ought’ or ‘should’? How much of your time is spent wondering how what you do will affect others? How often do you not do something that you would love to do in favour of doing something to please someone else? Is your first thought before wearing something, saying something, writing something ‘will they like it?’ If so, I have a question for you…..

Why?

Yes we all have to live as part of a society and without maintaining certain niceties we would find ourselves ostracized but why do we sacrifice ourselves on the alter of public acceptance? We all feel obligated to do certain things without having any desire to do them and sometimes that stems from kindness and generosity but what if it comes from a fear of rejection or criticism? What will ultimately be achieved if we seek to please others at the expense of pleasing ourselves?

To turn that around, what do we get from conforming with our perceptions of what others want? A compliment? Gratitude? Friendship? Love? The first two, almost certainly but do we really want our friends or lovers to fall for  the mask that we wear or our true selves? If our relationships are based purely on taking pleasure from seeing the joy on another’s face, aren’t we just living vicariously? Wouldn’t the relationship be better served from both parties feeling joy?

It may be that, if you live your life for you and reveal only your true self to others that you will lose friends or lovers along the way but if they loved you purely because you held up a mirror to their desires, have you really lost? We all make compromises along the way but if the thought of  ‘ought’ or ‘should’ gives you no pleasure, find something positive that you can take from the experience or don’t do it.

People tell us how to live and even how to die but, the funny thing is, they can’t do either of those things for us………..

A life without rules can be chaos but living by someone else’s rules is to live life as though it were a preview to something else, the trailer before the main event. When the final curtain descends, the crowd won’t be there to applaud your performance, you’ll be alone on stage; don’t then look around and wonder why all the scenery is for someone else’s play…..

What do you think? Is a selfless life the most rewarding of all or should we live for ourselves, without bringing any harm to others of course, because we will only ever have one crack at this? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

Lisa x

If Only…..

How many times have you said those two words to yourself or to someone else? Hundreds of times? Thousands? When you watch a film or read a book, do you think, for example, ‘If only he had gone to the bus park that day, he would never have lost her’. Have you ever said ‘if only’ before an event or during? No, of course not, it’s something we say with hindsight and hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it?

How many times have you said those two words to yourself or to someone else? Hundreds of times? Thousands? When you watch a film or read a book, do you think, for example, ‘If only he had gone to the bus park that day, he would never have lost her’. Have you ever said ‘if only’ before an event or during? No, of course not, it’s something we say with hindsight and hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it?

Pretty much all of us have grown up with books, films and TV series which deliver ‘if only’ as an absolute; if only she hadn’t gone up to the attic she’d still be alive, if he hadn’t picked up that slipper he’d never have found the love of his life. We are served a never ending diet of black and white, two narrow paths, one which leads to a perfect life and the other which leads to ‘if only’. Is it any wonder that give ourselves such a hard time over the decisions that we make? We have seen the unfortunate consequences of making the ‘wrong’ decision too many times and often can’t see past black or white when, in real life, there are many shades of grey (at least 50 apparently).

The thing is, we never really give much thought to what the outcome could have been if the ending of the story wasn’t ‘perfect’……..

What if Jesus had sent Judas packing with a flea in his ear so he couldn’t betray him for 30 pieces of silver? Would Jesus have saved himself untold suffering? Yes. Would Christianity as we know if today exist? Probably not. Jesus could have ended up living a perfectly happy life with a wife and children, carried on with his teachings for a while and then drifted into obscurity. He followed the difficult path, the one that we would never follow if we knew the outcome: torture and a slow lingering death.

CinderellaOn a more frivolous note, what if Cinderella took off her rose coloured glasses 10 minutes after the wedding and realised that the castle was cold and draughty, her prince, though handsome, was mind numbingly dull and the glass slippers gave her blisters? Not quite the happy ending that we’ve all been brought up with is it?

The fact is that we can ponder decisions for days, weeks or even months. We can run every possible scenario through our minds, looking for the black or white answer that we see on the big and small screens and in our favourite books but we will never find it. We cannot fast-forward our lives to see the outcome, to see if we win or lose. We could decide to buy lottery tickets with the last of our money and win millions, lose all our friends, party too hard, marry someone stunning only to have them cheat on us and end up crashing our Ferrari out of our head on drugs. Alternatively, we use the money to buy food to keep ourselves going for another day, find out the store keeper needs an assistant, work for him and serve green beans to the woman who ends up being the love of our live. On the other hand, we see a starving child, turn to give them the money and get run over by a bus.

Never-regret-anything1.jpgThere are a million different scenarios and, if we try to plan for or even think about all of them we’ll go crazy so make the decision and forget it, follow the path and don’t look back. Life is not about fairy tale endings, goodies and baddies; when we say ‘if only’ we are looking backwards with regret, wouldn’t we be better served to enjoy the now? Black and white is not reality, enjoy the shades of grey……….

Lisa

x

 

There Must be More…..

to life than this. Have you ever thought that, when you were having a bad day, when nothing seemed to be going your way? Maybe you felt at the end of your tether, that life just seems to be an endless slog, every day the same with nothing ever getting any better?

to life than this. Have you ever thought that, when you were having a bad day, when nothing seemed to be going your way? Maybe you felt at the end of your tether, that life just seems to be an endless slog, every day the same with nothing ever getting any better?

I have felt like that more times than I care to count over the last few years but recently I’ve woken up to something – there isn’t more than life, there is only how you view it. It sounds horribly cliched to say it but many of the problems that we have in life are caused by focusing on what we don’t have, rather than what we do have. In looking for complex solutions, we often miss the simple things that could give us pleasure if we would but notice them:

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Mother Nature is always waving her arms at us and saying ‘look!’. She creates beautiful things for us every day, despite the fact that we often do our best to ruin them
New York
We can’t always have a stunning view but we can always find something to make us smile if we look hard enough…
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We can enjoy the time that we spend with our friends and family: the people that we love and who love us
solitude
But there is pleasure to be found in quiet solitude….
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There will be time for adventure, for adrenaline rushes and wild excitement…
Contemplation
Equally, we can take pleasure from the moments when our hearts and minds are still and quiet…
Baby
There is beauty in the young…. 
old ladies
There is beauty in the old……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

animals
There is beauty in the animal world….
lotus-flowers
And a simple flower can be the most beautiful of all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, the next time you think ‘there must be more to life than this’, just remember that there isn’t and then just think ‘isn’t it wonderful!’

Lisa

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Ready?

Is this where you ought to be?

If not there then where?

If not now then when?

Are you how you’re meant to be?

Is this where you ought to be?

If not here then where?

If not now then when?

Are you how you’re meant to be?

Your life, your choice, your future

It’s your move……

Lisa

x

The Meaning of Life: Part 3

“Have we got any biscuits? I’m feeling a bit peckish”

“You’re not peckish, you’ve only just had lunch. You’re just bored; you know you don’t like it when it’s too quiet in the factory”

“Look if I want a sodding biscuit………oh hang on a minute what’s going on over there…”

“Have we got any biscuits? I’m feeling a bit peckish”

“You’re not peckish, you’ve only just had lunch. You’re just bored; you know you don’t like it when it’s too quiet in the factory”

“Look if I want a sodding biscuit………oh hang on a minute what’s going on over there…”

“What? Where?”

“Over there look, someone’s making a declaration of some sort; this should be interesting….wait…oh no, that’s torn it!”

“hmmm? munch, munch, what?”

“Where did you get that biscuit?! Didn’t you hear what he just said? It’s a disaster”

“Sorry, no, it’s the biscuit, it’s really crunchy……”

“He just said “All Men are Created Equal”

“He didn’t?!!???”

“He bloody did! Will you stop spraying crumbs all over my desk”

“He can’t say that boss, there’ll be chaos!”

“Well duh, you think?”

“There’s no need to be sarcastic………what are we going to do about it?”

“Not a lot we can do is there, the words are out there now. Go and put the kettle on and I’ll see how much essence of sheep we’ve got left”

“I told you that free will would give us a problem…..more sheep essence I said….can’t go wrong with sheep I said……”

“Stop muttering, I’m trying to think”

“I was just saying………you’re just in a bad mood because I ate the last biscuit”

“The last….??? Look forget about biscuits for a minute, I’ve had an idea. Why don’t we give them a template”

“What do you mean, a template?”

“You know, we’ll take all the best bits of the ones that are down there now and make a template so they’ll know what they all need to be equal to, otherwise they’ll just be squabbling about this for ever more. You know what they’re like ‘your mountain’s got more trees on it, it’s not fair’, ‘our deity’s bigger than yours’, ‘he’s got more cows than me’, honestly, it never stops! Nope, we’ll give them a template and they’ll all want to be like that and everyone will be equal. It’s brilliant!”

“When you say the best bits what do you mean? Really good hair and a nice bum? I did a great bum the other day, round and peachy, perfectly symmetrical….I was proud of that bum…”

“What are you rambling about? No, I’m talking about kindness, understanding, compassion, intelligence, honesty, determination….the good bits”

“The bits you do you mean?”

“Well, I suppose so yes…”

“Typical!”

“Oh don’t get all huffy, you can do the bum alright?”

“Yay! Let’s get cracking!”

“Yes ha ha, ‘cracking’ very funny”

“What?”

“Never mind, just get on with it”

Time passes………..

“Finished!”

“How can it take so long to do one bum? No don’t answer that, just stick it on….no, other way up…..right good it’s ready to go”

More time passes….

“How’s the template going boss? Did they get it? Are they all feeling nice and equal now?”

“I don’t want to talk about it”

“Why? What happened?”

“………..they shot him”

“Bugger! Oh well better luck next time, fancy a biscuit?”

“I’m not hungry”

Ghandi quote

 

Have a great day everyone

Lisa x

 

 

 

 

poem- — mtaggartwriter

Morning All :O) How are we all today? I just had to share this with you because of it’s sheer simplistic elegance and eloquence. I love Matt’s writing but this really blew my mind – I hope that you enjoy it too.

Our thoughts think themselves through even when we don’t want them to So we stand looking at their faces seeing beyond what we are seeing -M. Taggart

via poem- — mtaggartwriter

Morning All :O) How are we all today? I just had to share this with you because of it’s sheer simplistic elegance and eloquence. I love Matt’s writing but this really blew my mind – I hope that you enjoy it too.

Have a great day everyone

Lisa x

3.2.1 Quote Me! Challenge

A huge thank you to the lovely Darren over at ArtyPlantsman for nominating me for this challenge. I am a huge fan of his blog, which is always hugely entertaining, but also of Darren himself who welcomed me to the WP family when I first started blogging with open arms. He is one of those rare people who genuinely have a kind and gentle soul and I am proud to count him as a friend.

A huge thank you to the lovely Darren over at ArtyPlantsman for nominating me for this challenge. I am a huge fan of his blog, which is always hugely entertaining, but also of Darren himself who welcomed me to the WP family, when I first started blogging, with open arms. He is one of those rare people who genuinely have a kind and gentle soul and I am proud to count him as a friend.

The 3.2.1 Quote Me! Challenge was created by Rory from A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! (who blogs in an “entertaining fashion” about his journey through life with his beautiful dog K9, and makes a priority of sending good vibes to other bloggers and acknowledging them). Every day he picks a topic, posts 2 quotes and nominates 3 bloggers, who in turn have to post 2 quotes on that topic and nominate 3 bloggers of their own.

Rules: 3.2.1 Quote Me!

Thank the Selector (Thanks Darren, virtual hugs on way)

Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day

Select 3 bloggers to take part in ‘3.2.1 Quote Me!’

Note: Although this is the topic for today there is no specific deadline to it, meaning you can answer as and when.

The topic is: ADVENTURE

My first choice is a quote from Helen Keller who faced challenges in her life that most of us would struggle to imagine and yet she had an amazing and awe inspiring zest for life. I’ve only begun to realise in recent years that living life spontaneously and taking risks is absolutely the best way to feel really alive!

adventure quote 2

The second quote is from Charlie Chaplin. I identify with it in ways that I cannot really explain; it both moved and inspired me, as did the man himself.

I hope that you liked the quotes, thanks once again to Darren, and now I’m going to pass the baton over to 3 of my newest followers (thanks guys :O)) and fingers crossed they take the challenge:

Zeba Juveriya

Tanay Style’s

Sunsets Sunrise

Have a great Sunday everyone

Lisa x

If you Don’t Like it, Don’t do It!

How many of you remember Tommy Cooper? He used to tell this joke about going to the doctor and saying “My arm really hurts when I do this”; the doctor’s replies “Well don’t do it then”. Not a particularly funny joke but really great advice don’t you think? How much of your life do you spend doing things you don’t like? Maybe you hate your job, you’re unhappy in your relationship, don’t like the way you look? If so, I have a question for you – why do you keep doing things you don’t enjoy?

How many of you remember Tommy Cooper? He used to tell this joke about going to the doctor and saying “My arm really hurts when I do this”; the doctor’s replies “Well don’t do it then”. Not a particularly funny joke but really great advice don’t you think? How much of your life do you spend doing things you don’t like? Maybe you hate your job, you’re unhappy in your relationship, don’t like the way you look? If so, I have a question for you – why do you keep doing things you don’t enjoy?

Responsibility?

Sure, you can’t just give up work, for instance, you have to eat, but why do a job that you hate? You could argue that you have a family to look after and your job pays the bills but do you think that the people who love you really want to see you unhappy when you set out for work and stressed when you get home? What’s to stop you finding another job or even re-training in order to do something completely different; something that you might actually love?

selfishThe same applies to relationships, you may feel a sense of responsibility towards your partner, perhaps you’ve been together for a long time and you know that you’ll hurt them if you end things. You may feel that they need you and you stay out of a sense of guilt but is that what you would want from a relationship? Would you want someone to stay with you purely out of loyalty or pity? I would guess that the answer would be no so why do you stay? Why not break away and give yourself and your partner a chance at real happiness?

When it comes to the way we feel about ourselves it’s often because we don’t take responsibility that we have negative feelings. We feel fat and hate the way that we look in the mirror but we don’t do anything about it even though we know that we are capable. We know that we would feel less down if we got up off the couch and went out for a walk but we stay in front of the TV wallowing in misery and hoping that someone will do something to make us feel better.

Is it really irresponsible to want to enjoy our lives? Is it wrong to want to do things that make us feel good? Make us happy? If the answer is no then why do we spend so much time doing things we hate? Do we feel that other people will think we’re selfish or self-indulgent if we pursue only the things that give us pleasure? Maybe but who is living our life? Who has no choice but to live it? Us or them?

Personally, what I am aiming for is to get to the end of my life and not have as my last thought:

“I wish I had…………..”

What about you? Do you do things you hate? My advice would be ‘stop doing it’ but maybe you feel that you can’t…….

Please let me know, I’d love to hear from you

Lisa x

How to Stay Motivated

Do you find that some mornings you just wake up with a spring in your step and a song in your heart and, at other times, you just want to tell the whole world to bog off and leave you alone? Sometimes you’ll read an inspirational quote and send a virtual hug to the angel that posted it and other days you’ll read something similar and you’ll want to scream

Do you find that some mornings you just wake up with a spring in your step and a song in your heart and, at other times, you just want to tell the whole world to bog off and leave you alone? Sometimes you’ll read an inspirational quote and send a virtual hug to the angel that posted it and other days you’ll read something similar and you’ll want to scream:

“Oh just STFU with your bloody motivational crap! Just because you’re so bloody perfect! It’s not that easy for the rest of us mere mortals you know!”

Monk rockOf course you do, we all do. There are very few people in the world who are happy ALL the time and those that are can be inspirational and intensely irritating, in equal measure, to the rest of us. We may listen to the teachings and ancient wisdom of old men in orange robes who sit on rocks all day. We might read the autobiographies of the insanely rich and successful hoping to emulate and accumulate. Hours may pass as we watch video after video of people who have suffered things we can’t imagine but have overcome them all and now lead a blessed life. (Those can be the worst of all when you’re in the wrong mood because you just end up feeling guilty that you’re still pissed off with your boss at work when some other poor sod has lost everything and is still happy.)

We might really  try to be motivated and happy but still feel as though we never quite get in right. So, what can we do about it? Well, we could spend years sitting on a rock in orange robes waiting for spiritual enlightenment, fairly safe in the knowledge that, chances are, it will arrive at some point. However, that takes far more time and dedication than most of us are prepared to put in if we’re really honest with ourselves; for most people an hour alone with their thoughts is too much, let alone months or years on end. Added to that, rocks are pretty uncomfortable places to sit without specially constructed under garments!

We can emulate the great achievers in the World but, arguably, they are even more focused than the rock sitters. They are also, more often than not, uncompromising and ruthless in their approach to business and prepared to take massive risks in order to follow their dream; let’s face it, that’s not really true of most of us is it?

Inspirational dale carnegie quotes dale carnegie life dale carnegie books dale carnegie quotes daleOver the years I have read Dale Carnegie and yet I still don’t have that many friends and I can’t be sure I’ve ever influenced anyone. I’ve been to see Anthony Robbins (US life coach extraordinaire) which, admittedly did change my life but not to the point that I am living in a state of euphoria every day. I’ve listened to Osho and Sadguru for hours and hours on end but I am still not dripping with ecstasy on a regular basis. Why the bloody hell not? It’s not like I haven’t put in the effort over the years :O(

Could it be that I try too hard? Beat myself up when I don’t measure up to the standards of these people that I idolise? Is it that I believe my life is not full of rainbows and unicorns because I don’t deserve them? Do I hate myself for my own weakness when I let my negative emotions get the better of me?

What if…………oh forget it that’s just daft!………….but……..look…….here’s a thought:

What if we accepted ourselves for who we are and stopped trying to be like someone else?

What if we accepted that sometimes we’ll make mistakes and there’s no real reason to beat ourselves up?

What if we accepted that sometimes we’ll be miserable gits but, actually, that’s OK?

What if we accepted the fact that we do deserve to be happy and fulfilled?

What if we accepted that, sometimes, bad things will happen to us but, however bad they are, they won’t last forever?

What if we accepted that there is no such thing as a perfect life or a perfect human being?

I believe that the only real way to stay motivated is to accept that we will not always feel motivated and not to give a flying fig. What do you think? I’d love to hear from you.

Lisa

x

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