Anyone Seen My Post?

I’m just asking as I seem to have lost it. I wrote a post for Song Lyric Sunday yesterday (Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward was the tune in case you were wondering) and it just disappeared. It’s not in trash or pending – it just seems as though Wordpress has eaten it :O( Has this ever happened to anyone else?

I’m just asking as I seem to have lost it. I wrote a post for Song Lyric Sunday yesterday (Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward was the tune in case you were wondering) and it just disappeared. It’s not in trash or pending – it just seems as though WordPress has eaten it :O( Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Lisa x

Invisible

I think therefore I am. 

The more that I think 

The less I am 

To you all

I think therefore I am.

The more that I think

The less I am

To you all

Do you

Still see me

As you pass by

Or am I now lost

Inside my broken mind

Having one of those days so I’ll catch you guys later

Lisa x

FOWC: Haphazard

We search for direction, a straight marked road ahead

We are lost and found and lost again, ever turning

A disorganised mess of organised chaos. Butterfly

Wings beat, one millisecond, we are off course again

We search for direction, a straight marked road ahead

We are lost and found and lost again, ever turning

A disorganised mess of organised chaos. Butterfly

Wings beat, one millisecond, we are off course again

We don’t see, the path is set; it’s life, haphazard….

What is it about these one word prompts? They just seem to fire something in my imagination! Thanks again to the wonderful Fandango for the cerebral stimulation ;O)

Lisa x

Lost

Stumbling in the half light, trying to find the path

Where a foal once led my inner child, sure footed

Don’t look back, therein lies the darkness, she implored

Stumbling in the half light, trying to find the path

Where a foal once led my inner child, sure footed

Don’t look back, therein lies the darkness, she implored

My inner child let go a silent tear, I turned

Away from her. My foal would guard her innocence

As they waited for my return to the sunlight

Until then the shadows beckon, corrosive gloom

Familiar. You wait there but no longer there

Slowly fading. I search blindly, seeing no end

But needing to look. Why can’t I see anymore?

Hands outstretched, desperate to feel your loving touch

 I hear no sound, no calling voice to guide me back

A scent so longed for dissipated, nothing there

At once light steps in the distance distract my mind

Foal and inner child can wait no more so they come

We will meet again in joyful reunion,

They will not scold, the pull of the darkness stays strong

But I will still regret the hours, days far away

Lost.

 

Lisa x

Song Lyric Sunday: Take/Taking

Good morning one and all :O) Here we are again at the end of another week and it’s time for Song Lyric Sunday; the perfect way to discover new music and find new friends. As always the prompt has been given to us by the lovely Helen and this week it’s take/taking. If you’d like to play along, and I hope that you will, here are some rules for you:

Good morning one and all :O) Here we are again at the end of another week and it’s time for Song Lyric Sunday; the perfect way to discover new music and find new friends. As always the prompt has been given to us by the lovely Helen and this week it’s take/taking. If you’d like to play along, and I hope that you will, here are some rules for you:

  • Post the lyrics to the song of your choice, whether it fits the theme or not
  • Please try to include the songwriter(s) – it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due and it’s honestly just a simple Google search
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

 

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me,
You’ve broken my heart and now you leave me.
Love of my life can’t you see,
Bring it back, bring it back,
Don’t take it away from me because you don’t know what it means to me.

Love of my life, don’t leave me,
You’ve taken my love, you now desert me,

Love of my life, can’t you see?
Bring it back, bring it back,
Don’t take it away from me because you don’t know what it means to me.

You will remember
When this is blown over
And everything’s all by the way
When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you, I still love you.

Back, hurry back,
Please, bring it back home to me because you don’t know what it means to me.

Love of my life
Love of my life…

Written by: Freddie Mercury
I wasn’t sure whether to use this song this morning, it came to me instantly when I saw the prompt but the story behind it is intensely personal.
When my husband and I first got together we would argue quite frequently; the attraction between us was immediate, love at first sight if you will, but it took a while for us to trust each other. We’d both been hurt in the past and between us we had an awful lot of emotional baggage to sort through. On this one particular day, we’d had a huge fight (I can’t even remember what it was about now) and I was driving home feeling angry, trying very hard not to cry when the phone rang…
I answered it but there was no-one there. I was about to put it down when I heard the first bars of the song that I’ve chosen today. I pulled over and I listened. I could go into raptures over Freddie’s voice and the sublime melody but, for me, this will always be the song that made me realise that I was truly loved and that I loved unconditionally. The argument was completely forgotten after that and we were married sometime later…..
The first time I heard Love of My Life it reduced me to tears but they were joyful, these days it still has the same effect but they’re tears of pain. The memories that the song evokes are happy ones but there’s a line that fill me with terrible bitterness every time I hear it:
“When I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you”
We didn’t get to grow old together because cancer took my husband when I was 48. He’s no longer at my side to remind me how he still loves me and I no longer feel loved because the love of my life was taken from me.
Lisa
x

Song Lyric Sunday: Lost

A very happy Sunday to all my Wordpress friends, a day which always comes with the opportunity to make new friends thanks to SLS. The lovely Helen, who’s feeling poorly this week so please pay her a visit and wish her well, came up with the wonderful idea of sharing blogging and music; if you love both please play along..

A very happy Sunday to all my WordPress friends, a day which always comes with the opportunity to make new friends thanks to SLS. The lovely Helen, who’s feeling poorly this week so please pay her a visit and wish her well, came up with the wonderful idea of sharing blogging and music; if you love both please play along..

The theme for this week is ‘lost’ and, as always, here are the rules:

  • Post the lyrics to the song of your choice, whether it fits the theme or not
  • Please try to include the songwriter(s) – it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due and it’s honestly just a simple Google search
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

 

2 am, where do I begin
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed
I’m a ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I’m the shell of a girl
That I used to know well
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
Too afraid, to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
For the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep
I’m a ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I’m the shell of a girl
That I used to know well
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there’s only me
And the lonely
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
Songwriters: Christina Perri / David Hodges
the lonely lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
The word lost doesn’t appear anywhere in these lyrics but I chose the song because that was how I felt when I first heard it. It was shortly after I moved to France, I didn’t really know anyone and I was still weighed down by the grief of losing my husband. One night I was sitting on the terrace with a glass of wine and just looking out to sea when this track started playing; the opening bars were enough to make the tears start to fall, not that it took very much in those days…….
It’s very difficult to express how you feel when someone you love dies but the line:
“I’m the shell of a girl
That I used to know well”
summed it up. I was not the person that I had been; I no longer knew myself or was even sure that I wanted to.
The beautiful, beautiful melody overwhelmed me and tears flowed freely, coming without effort but then I heard the line that ripped a sob from my throat and literally brought me crashing to the floor:
“Where there once was love
Now there’s only me
And the lonely”
I played this song over and over and over. I cried so hard that my eyes burned and I could barely breathe as I tried to rid myself of the pain that had lodged in my chest. Even this morning, as I listened to it again, I could feel the tears but I no longer feel so broken that I can’t stop them falling. It has taken more than 4 years for me to finally start to find myself again and, perhaps more importantly, to start to like myself again. I still miss my husband and the love we shared, desperately, but I am no longer lost……..
Lisa
x

Feeling Proud?

Have you ever done something which others might consider insignificant but that actually made you feel really proud of yourself? Like the first time, as a kid, that you managed to tie your own shoelaces; everyone learns how do to it and it’s second nature now but, at the time, you could have burst with pride. When you do things like that as a child everyone congratulates you on a job well done which adds to your sense of satisfaction but, as an adult, the best you’ll get is a slightly quizzical look and ‘and?……’.

Have you ever done something which others might consider insignificant but that actually made you feel really proud of yourself? Like the first time, as a kid, that you managed to tie your own shoelaces; everyone learns how do to it and it’s second nature now but, at the time, you could have burst with pride. When you do things like that as a child everyone congratulates you on a job well done which adds to your sense of satisfaction but, as an adult, the best you’ll get is a slightly quizzical look and ‘and?……’. Why is that? If we do something that beats our own teeny tiny inner demons, even if it’s something that others do without really thinking about it can’t we, at least, have a smile and a ‘well done’ as a reward?

BravoIt’s probably because we don’t tell anyone about it, we realise that no-one else will really be interested in our little accomplishment, let alone proud of us, so we just keep it to ourselves and our quiet satisfaction diminishes just a little. I’d really like to change that so I invite you all to share your proud moment here and I promise that I will give you the congratulations that you deserve.

In the interests of getting the ball rolling I’ll share with you the reason that I had to be silently proud yesterday…….

As many of you know, I have no sense of direction, to the point that, at the age of 50, I got lost in a service station in Italy and am incapable of going anywhere without the age of my trusty (if slightly bossy and irritating) SatNav. Yesterday, I met some friends for lunch in Villefranche Sur Mer which is about 45 minutes drive from where I live and, as usual, before I set off, I entered the address into the SatNav. I’d been there before so I had an idea where I was going but, with me, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

DrivingSo, I set off and all was going well until the Satnav lady started interrupting my favourite song with a bizarre instruction about turning left. This would not have been amiss if there was actually a left turning ahead but there wasn’t….I was in a tunnel??? What the bloody hell was she going on about? I figured out, in the end, that another road joined the tunnel and I should keep in my lane and follow the bend which inclined to the left. All of this took brain power which could have been more productively used concentrating on maneuvering my car through said tunnel. She confused me again by telling me to turn left 300 metres ahead, then immediately turn sharp right. Now, I can happily visualise one metre (sort of) but 300? That was going to take some thinking about and, what did she mean by immediately…..??? The upshot of this was that I turned left too early, found no sharp right immediately after and had to take a small detour, all the while praying that Satnav lady would hurry up and reset herself…

Anyway, for the journey home, I decided that she got on my nerves so I was going to ignore her and just follow the signposts. I admit I was nervous when I set off but there is only one road out of the town and I managed to follow it without incident so I considered that a promising start. Shortly afterwards I saw a sign to Monaco, excellent! I eagerly followed the road which got steeper and narrower as time went on. Eventually, when I was panicking in case I met a bicycle coming the other way, let alone another car, I came to a crossroads and, lo and behold, there was another signpost to lead me home – joy of joys!

HuhIt was at this point I realised that, although I had come in on the coastal road, I now appeared to be on a mountain road…..right, well, not to worry, just follow the signs. I did and arrived in Monaco (hurrah!) only to find myself stuck in a huge queue of traffic. Rather than sit there for ages, needing a wee (knew I should have gone before I left the restaurant), I decided to turn off the main road and head off back into the mountains. I came across a  signpost which directed me to a village that I recognised and I knew that, if I got there, I could find my way home….

I DID IT!!! I found my way home, through the mountains, with out the aid of Satnav lady!!! This, I realise, would be of little import to those of you with even the vaguest sense of direction but I was really proud of myself :O)

So, there you go, I’ve told you mine, now you tell me yours; we all deserve a bit of praise for our little achievements ;O)

Lisa

x

 

Why Are You Asking Me???

I have no internal GPS. ‘Please can you help me, I’m lost’ was one of the first french phrases I learned when I moved over here. I once managed to lose my friends at a service station for 20 minutes because I went in one door and out again through another. I have to write down the number of a parking space so I can find my car again. So why oh why do people keep asking me for directions when I’m out walking???

I have no internal GPS. ‘Please can you help me, I’m lost’ was one of the first french phrases I learned when I moved over here. I once managed to lose my friends at a service station for 20 minutes because I went in one door and out again through another. I have to write down the number of a parking space so I can find my car again. I have a Sat Nav in my car and still get lost; the police pulled me over the other day as, apparently, driving down a tram route is not actually legal. So why oh why do people keep asking me for directions when I’m out walking???

lostYesterday I’d taken a quick breather ostensibly to answer a Whatsapp message, but actually to have a quick breather after having run up a particularly long flight of steps, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Bearing in mind that I was wearing headphones and bopping around a bit to the strains of ‘It’s My Life’, you can understand that it came as something of a shock. I literally jumped back a pace and said something like “whhtttffffyyyddding!” which in turn scared the crap out of the guy who had shoulder tapped me. Anyhoo, when we’d both recovered he said ‘Um excusez moi……….’ and then waved a piece of paper under my nose and pointed to a blue dot. He had a small child with him and he looked harassed, confused and, well, lost……

My first thought was ‘oh shit not again’ but I felt sorry for the guy and so looked at what turned out to be a little map. I asked him, in French, what it was he was looking for and he mumbled something and then pointed once again to the blue dot. It suddenly occurred to me that he wasn’t French; when I replied to him in English I could just see the waves of relief rolling over his face and a look of hope dawning in his eyes. Yep, we could converse in the same language and, had he not been asking for directions, it could have been a really lovely chat.

At this point I have 2 confessions to make –

1. I actually do really like helping people

2. I don’t like admitting that I don’t know stuff……..

when someone is asking for directions, this is a really, really bad combination.

map
You remember Joey in Friends? Yep? Well that’s me with a map :O(

I tried to look knowledgeable and turned my attention to his map. He took it back for a second so he could turn it the right way up but still that didn’t put me off, I was determined to point him in the right direction – poor bastard! We walked along for a couple of minutes and chatted about the weather as the English are wont to do when they don’t really know each other while I tried to figure out where we were in relation to the station which was the only thing I really recognised on the map. Just then, miracle of miracles!!! I saw a sign post for the very place he was looking for – thank f**k for that! I was saved from having to shame facedly admit that I had absolutely no idea where he should be going. Actually, if I’m completely honest……..I can’t believe I’m saying this……..I probably would have confidently sent him in what I thought was the right direction and then hope that I didn’t meet him again on the way back.

So, in the end no harm done :O) He was happy and I went off for my walk along the coast path in the sunshine feeling virtuous after having my good deed for the day and, you’ll never guess what, on the way back a woman asked me for directions to the beach, in French……

Obviously I had to help her out. I’ve got no idea where she is now but I really hope she didn’t have to walk too far out of her way before she found someone who actually has the vaguest clue where they’re going……..

So, tell me, are you ever determined to help someone even when you know damn well that you are absolutely the worst person to ask???? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you

Have a great day

Lisa x