Going Down?

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just can’t seem to fathom what’s going on and rather than mentally reaching for the simplest explanation, you arrive at the most unlikely? Logic points you in one direction but your inbuilt sense of drama takes you in quite another……

I had a moment like that yesterday; for those of you who read my stuff regularly this will not come as a surprise. To explain, the vast majority of parking in Monaco is underground (bear with me things will become clear) so, as I have an almost pathological dislike of stairs I am frequently in lifts. I have left my car underground so to get back to the surface I hit the button marked 0 – logical yes? Good; bear this in mind……

The other day I decided to go out for a long walk (around 6.5km) and, in the spirit of adventure, I took a new route. I did not get lost which came as something of a surprise but at the 4kmish mark I was faced with a choice: lots of stairs or a lift; you can guess which option I took. I stepped into the lift, hit the button marked 0 and danced around a bit as one of my favourite tracks was blasting away on my headphones…..what? I was on my own and as far as I know there were no cameras (note to self: check YouTube later).

Anyway, after a few seconds I realised that the doors hadn’t opened, “On my God I’m trapped!!!” was the thought that sprang immediately into my mind. The lift was really small and felt as though it was becoming smaller by the second. I span round and looked at the panel on the wall, thank God, there’s a button to open the door, what a relief. I hit the button and the lift doors dutifully opened. That’s odd, I thought, that doesn’t look like where I’m supposed to be……

It took another few seconds for me to realise that what I was seeing was the path that led to the lift………which hadn’t moved an inch……was it broken or what? Was I going to be forced to take the stairs??? I looked. There were a lot of stairs and my legs ached…oh hang on a minute, there’s a sign…it took a minute to translate and it said nothing at all about the lift being broken. Hmmmm.

I stepped back into the lift and revisited the panel. Had I missed something? Yes. I had. I was not in a car park. The entrance to the lift was on the ground floor….getting there, come on brain. I had pressed 0…..yep nearly there………I need to go up…….keep going…….oooohhhhhhhh (realisation strikes), I should have pressed 1. Yes folks there were only two buttons and I had pressed the wrong one; I’m really not very bright sometimes………..

Anyway, on that note, I’m off.  Not permanently but I’m going back to Blighty for a few days, I’ve scheduled a couple of posts just so you don’t forget about me while I’m gone but I won’t be about very much so, if I don’t respond, please don’t think I’m ignoring you :O)

Lisa

x

Just for a Laugh!

Good morning everyone :O) I know that there are a lot of you guys out there in WordPress World who are not having the best time of it at the moment so I wanted to put something together, just for you, in the hope that it will brighten your day and make you chuckle. It’s so easy to get caught up with the negative things in life that, sometimes, we forget to laugh and yet, when we do, we wonder why we don’t do it more often…..

I love Friends and, the first time I saw this I was giggling about it all day. It’s just an 8 second clip but a perfect piece of slapstick!

The incomparable Billy Connolly telling the story of waking up, at the age of 7, wearing a balaclava that wasn’t there when he went to bed. (Warning: contains bad language……but it’s really bloody funny!)

https://twitter.com/i/status/1034374239393067008

This is Paul Bronks and he’s the only reason I still have a Twitter account; it’s not so much the pictures or videos that get to me but the captions which will often make me laugh out loud.

Finally, the genius of Eddie Izzard. He has such an amazing sense of the ridiculous and this sketch was, in my opinion, one of his best ever!

There you are, that’s your lot; I hope that something at least raised a smile :O)

If you’ve got the time, please share your favourite comedy moments, I’d love to hear from you

Lisa

 

To Tickle Your Fancy….

It’s the last day of the working week so what better way to celebrate than to have a hearty chuckle? I’ve put together some videos that really appeal to my sightly bizarre sense of humour in the hope that they will give you a laugh so that you can start your weekend with a big smile on your face :O)

I did have a fairly serious and in depth post planned for today but I only had about 5 hours sleep last night and I’ve got a busy day ahead so I thought, sod it, do something fun instead so here goes:

 

Didn’t think that hamsters could be entertaining? The first time I saw this I just could not stop laughing and, even hours later, every time I thought about it I’d start giggling again..

Fetch Level: Weak AF pic.twitter.com/vRSYkpLF8h

— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) May 29, 2018

This guy is the only reason I log onto Twitter these days; without his captions the videos he posts wouldn’t be that funny but with them they are hilarious………..

This might only appeal to me because I live in France (excuse the bad language in the video by the way) but, trust me, it is absolutely spot on! Driving over here is a real experience, fun for the most part, but the horn useage in a traffic jam is enough to drive you crazy!

You all know that I love exercise but what you don’t know is that I’m really clumsy so have every sympathy with each person in this video as I’ve done many similar things myself. I laugh at myself every single time but, unfortunately, I also laugh at other people when it happens to them – that’s Karma for you I guess…….

Have a great weekend everyone.

Lisa

x

 

Why Are You Asking Me???

I have no internal GPS. ‘Please can you help me, I’m lost’ was one of the first french phrases I learned when I moved over here. I once managed to lose my friends at a service station for 20 minutes because I went in one door and out again through another. I have to write down the number of a parking space so I can find my car again. I have a Sat Nav in my car and still get lost; the police pulled me over the other day as, apparently, driving down a tram route is not actually legal. So why oh why do people keep asking me for directions when I’m out walking???

Yesterday I’d taken a quick breather ostensibly to answer a Whatsapp message, but actually to have a quick breather after having run up a particularly long flight of steps, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Bearing in mind that I was wearing headphones and bopping around a bit to the strains of ‘It’s My Life’, you can understand that it came as something of a shock. I literally jumped back a pace and said something like “whhtttffffyyyddding!” which in turn scared the crap out of the guy who had shoulder tapped me. Anyhoo, when we’d both recovered he said ‘Um excusez moi……….’ and then waved a piece of paper under my nose and pointed to a blue dot. He had a small child with him and he looked harassed, confused and, well, lost……

My first thought was ‘oh shit not again’ but I felt sorry for the guy and so looked at what turned out to be a little map. I asked him, in French, what it was he was looking for and he mumbled something and then pointed once again to the blue dot. It suddenly occurred to me that he wasn’t French; when I replied to him in English I could just see the waves of relief rolling over his face and a look of hope dawning in his eyes. Yep, we could converse in the same language and, had he not been asking for directions, it could have been a really lovely chat.

At this point I have 2 confessions to make –

1. I actually do really like helping people

2. I don’t like admitting that I don’t know stuff……..

when someone is asking for directions, this is a really, really bad combination.

You remember Joey in Friends? Yep? Well that’s me with a map :O(

I tried to look knowledgeable and turned my attention to his map. He took it back for a second so he could turn it the right way up but still that didn’t put me off, I was determined to point him in the right direction – poor bastard! We walked along for a couple of minutes and chatted about the weather as the English are wont to do when they don’t really know each other while I tried to figure out where we were in relation to the station which was the only thing I really recognised on the map. Just then, miracle of miracles!!! I saw a sign post for the very place he was looking for – thank f**k for that! I was saved from having to shame facedly admit that I had absolutely no idea where he should be going. Actually, if I’m completely honest……..I can’t believe I’m saying this……..I probably would have confidently sent him in what I thought was the right direction and then hope that I didn’t meet him again on the way back.

So, in the end no harm done :O) He was happy and I went off for my walk along the coast path in the sunshine feeling virtuous after having my good deed for the day and, you’ll never guess what, on the way back a woman asked me for directions to the beach, in French……

Obviously I had to help her out. I’ve got no idea where she is now but I really hope she didn’t have to walk too far out of her way before she found someone who actually has the vaguest clue where they’re going……..

So, tell me, are you ever determined to help someone even when you know damn well that you are absolutely the worst person to ask???? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you

Have a great day

Lisa x