Assassination Attempts & a Doppelganger

Morning All :O) I don’t know about you but I’ve had quite an interesting week what with 2 assassination attempts and discovering that I have a doppelganger. Now this could be a slight exaggeration and you can put that down to my over-active imagination; I’ll let you decide.

Morning All :O) I don’t know about you but I’ve had quite an interesting week what with 2 assassination attempts and discovering that I have a doppelganger. Now this could be a slight exaggeration and you can put that down to my over-active imagination; I’ll let you decide.

On Wednesday I decided that I needed some new trainers so my best friend and I popped over to the Nike outlet store in Villeneuve. I found what I was looking for, bought them and my friend offered to put them in the boot of my car before we embarked on more shopping. I was just standing there, quietly minding my own business, when something hit me…it was a car! My first thought was ‘ow!!’ and my second was ‘check your vital signs’: Ok, favourite leather jacket not damaged – check, favourite white trainers not scuffed – check. It was at this point that my brain cottoned on to what had actually happened and sent a message to my legs to start trembling violently. I sat down.

Home alone

The driver of the attack vehicle came rushing over to ask if I was OK and to ask if I spoke English. Ah ha!! What were the odds of being hit by an Englishwoman in a French car park?? This was obviously an assassination attempt! My legs wouldn’t hold me up long enough to confront my would be attacker so I mumbled that I was OK and asked her to go away…which she did. Hhhmmmm maybe not an assassination attempt after all…

Today, however, I was driving through Monaco on my way to Pilates when a car pulled out of one of the underground car parks straight in front of me! I slammed on my brakes, leaving several inches of rubber on the road in the process and politely indicated that I was less than amused

“What the fuck were you thinking?!!!”

The driver said ‘sorry’..not ‘pardon’ or ‘excusez-moi’ but ‘sorry’, he was English. Surely this cannot be a coincidence I thought.

Once again reduced to a trembling jelly I carried on driving and made it, without incident, to my Pilates class. I opened the door and was greeted, cheerily, by a woman I’d never met

“Oh it’s you, nice to see you, how are you?”

“Ummm fine thanks”

“It’s Sarah isn’t it?”

“Ummm, sorry, no, it’s Lisa”

“How odd! You look just like Sarah who owns the XXXX restaurant”

“Nope, not me, sorry”

Anyway, this went on for a bit, then we chatted for a while about life as a woman over 50, the menopause (don’t ask, I have no idea how we got onto the subject) and then she decided to give me a hug. I had no real objections, she seemed like a very nice woman but it got me to thinking of an incident that had happened a few days previously…..

I was at a networking event, again in Monaco, and was just leaving when this woman came up to me and said

“I know you don’t I?”

I couldn’t say no as I’ve got an absolutely rubbish memory for faces so it could well have been that I’d met her before..

“Yes, I think I know you from somewhere too” What? It seemed like a safe bet..

We went through the whole rigmarole of trying to remember where we’d met, she introduced her husband and we chatted for a while and then she said

“I don’t know why but I just must give you a hug”

“Fair enough” says I.

We hugged, said our goodbyes and that was that.

Putting all these events together, I’ve decided I obviously have a doppelganger that some secret British society is trying to assassinate; it’s the only logical explanation…isn’t it? What do you think?

Lisa

x

Friends

No, not the awesomely brilliant TV series, you. Are you one of those that has an abundance of friends? Do you walk into bars and everybody knows your name, are you hailed by 20 people as you walk half a mile down the street? Perhaps you’re a loner or you don’t like opening up to others and therefore only have a select few but very close friends?

No, not the awesomely brilliant TV series, you. Are you one of those that has an abundance of friends? Do you walk into bars and everybody knows your name, are you hailed by 20 people as you walk half a mile down the street? Perhaps you’re a loner or you don’t like opening up to others and therefore only have a select few but very close friends?

I fall into the second category simply because I really, really don’t like meeting new people (brain empties itself and all saliva disappears simultaneously) and because it takes me a very long time to share anything ‘real’ about myself. However, yesterday I understood the benefits of being a friend to everyone.

IMG_6123I was with my best friend and we’d gone over to Saint Jean Cap-Ferrat for lunch and then had a lovely walk along the shore, took some photos, I fell over my flip flops once or twice; a not untypical day. Anyway, after half and hour or so of strolling around we decided to go back to the car (actually it was more a case that I was sweating so much I feared I would dissolve and demanded that we go back to the tiny air-conditioned sanctuary that is my car).

My face close enough to the vents to get my eyelashes sucked in, I turned the key in the ignition and……nothing other than a slightly embarrassed coughing noise. My car was poorly! Fortunately, my best friend knows everyone and within 10 minutes a lovely young guy arrived with a set of jump leads. Not only that, after another brief conversation in high speed French (there isn’t really any other kind to be honest) with another friend, an appointment had been made and we were on our way to the nearest Fiat dealership.

An hour later I was back at home with my car restored to full health. Had I been alone it would have been a very different story. While I have learned enough French to have a reasonable conversation, my knowledge does not extend to explaining that my car is telling me to check something and refusing to start. I don’t know what I was supposed to be checking but there was an exclamation mark so I assume it was important. Added to that I have virtually zero sense of direction so there would have been a very slim chance that I could have guided someone to me who did have said knowledge.

So, what would I have done? Panicked, lost every atom of moisture in my body while waiting for someone to rescue me (it was really warm yesterday), berated myself for learning the French words for shoes and boots but not engine and gearbox? No, I’d have called my best friend of course :O)

Whether you have 100’s or just one or two, value your friends because you never know when you’ll need them. Thanks Will :O)

What do you love most about your best friend? I’d love to hear from you.

Lisa x