Get Out!

It’s grey, not pink, that’s a bit of a shock 

But now that it’s out let’s see what we’ve got 

Too many, too much, I’ll make a big pile 

Sifting through this could take quite a long while 

It’s grey, not pink, that’s a bit of a shock

But now that it’s out let’s see what we’ve got

Too many, too much, I’ll make a big pile

Sifting through this could take quite a long while

Small heaps perhaps to the left and the right

The good and the bad, the dark and the light

This one is sadness, it must belong there

Along with contrition, pain and despair

This is a memory of happiness lost

Where do I put it? Shouldn’t it be tossed?

Or kept in a pile with hope and a dream

Of a ghost’s soft reproach ‘Carpe Diem’

Arranged before me, they’re not as I thought

A mountain on one side; how hard I fought

To hold an echo and hoard the shadows

A mound on the other, the things I chose

To leave in the light, hoping they would grow

Hope is the first, a sprout, starting to show

Joy is there too but a almost unrecognised

Love their companion albeit disguised

Now to decide, what to keep, what is thrown?

What goes back? Good or bad it’s all I’ve known

For so long, same thoughts again and again

It’s not so easy to clean out my brain.

The last few days have been pretty grim. Maybe it’s because Valentine’s day is just round the corner, maybe it’s because grief just decides to beat the crap out of you sometimes, I honestly don’t know but sadness is just eating away at me. I’ve spent the last 5 years finding coping mechanisms to stay strong and keep positive, to enjoy each day as it comes but, right now, I have negative thoughts chasing around my head like puppies on speed.

This morning I thought how wonderful it would be if I could just take out my brain, give it a good shake and get rid of all the negative shit that seems to be clogging it up – hence this poem. Have you ever felt like that? I’d love to hear from you if you have.

Lisa x

Roses are Red

Just when you think it’s safe to go out 

There is a knock at your heart, tap, tap 

Trepidation calls, bearing flowers 

Roses, red like the blood flowing still 

Just when you think it’s safe to go out

There is a knock at your heart, tap, tap

Trepidation calls, bearing flowers

Roses, red like the blood flowing still

Through your veins to a stone cold  heart

Violets, deep blue as your eyes that weep

To remember the days without fear

Orchid, black reflecting your humour

‘Love me, love me not?’, petals shredded

Destroying the thing of beauty that

Once was your life. Stamens, yellow stain

Rough hands. Colours bleeding into one

Dull grey where once: yellow red, blue

Delicate stems, plain perfect blossom

Dismay brought you a bouquet. But why?

To remind you that he’s there. Tap tap

Just when you think it’s safe to go out.

I had to go to the supermarket this morning and, everywhere I looked, there were red hearts and roses, cards and chocolates and lovers strolling hand in hand. There is a feeling of romance in the air and, this year for some reason, I am not really dealing with it very well. So many tears today I just locked myself away and wrote this poem because I didn’t know what else to do.

Lisa x

 

FOWC: Hindsight

A cruel jest

Or a path to precious learning

A spiteful taunt

Or a route to ultimate peace

A cruel jest

Or a path to precious learning

A spiteful taunt

Or a route to ultimate peace

A mocking jibe

Or a comprehension of self

A cosmic joke

Or a recognition of error

A greener field

Or mastery of a pasture new

A life regret

Or subtly crafted momentum

This is hindsight

A curse or a gift? Up to you.

Written in response to another artful prompt from the fantastic Fandango.

Lisa x

 

I’m So Excited!

I just can’t hide it! I’m about to lose control and I think I like it! If you’re wondering what I am babbling about and whether I’ve finally lost the plot – it’s this and I haven’t (well not yet I don’t think):

I just can’t hide it! I’m about to lose control and I think I like it! If you’re wondering what I am babbling about and whether I’ve finally lost the plot – it’s this and I haven’t (well not yet I don’t think):

I’ve had a poem published :O) I’ve been putting a few things out there over the last few weeks and have had a few rejections but then the lovely people at Spillwords contacted me to say that they were going to publish my poem today!!!

Added to that I also had an email from another site yesterday to say that they were going to publish one of my stories so you’ll be getting another thoroughly over-excited post towards the end of the month.

When I started this blog I had no idea that I would find a love of writing or so many wonderful people who would give me the encouragement and support I needed to even think about doing it professionally. Love and hugs to you all.

Promise

Of life ever after, of love ever after
Conditional on blind devotion, a jest?
Exquisite manipulation of senseless souls
Lost in the search of meaning and lifelong purpose
Led, oh so willingly, to believe there is more
What lies after? More lies? Eternal life? Like this?
Endlessly searching the missing piece of my soul
Forcibly ripped by all knowing, all powerful
There is reason, a reason, no comprehension
Given and taken, a blessing. Eternal curse.
We shoulder the burden of a heart that can break
I will love you forever, with you forever
I am weary of promises made and broken…..

 

Lisa x

 

Innocence

Where are my wellies?

I want  splish splash

In giant puddles

Funny game

Where are my wellies?

I want  splish splash

In giant puddles

Funny game

Hold my hand

Fast skip with me

Please to the swings

Higher, higher, hold tight

Touch you little birdie

Can you see me

Fly with you?

What’s for tea?

Chips and beans for me

And for afters cake

Not little piece?

I’ve been good

Today.

Sleepy now

No! Not going to bed yet

A little bit longer

To remember

Innocence

 

 

The Blame Game

How can I, one soul, bear the responsibility of a million failed lives?

How can I, one soul, shoulder the burden of a crumbling World?

How can I, one soul, define or defend the innocent, lost innocence?

How can I, one soul, replete the ravaged lands, plasticised waters?

How can I, one soul, bear the responsibility of a million failed lives?

How can I, one soul, shoulder the burden of a crumbling World?

How can I, one soul, define or defend the innocent, lost innocence?

How can I, one soul, replete the ravaged lands, plasticised waters?

How can I, one soul, stand between the willingly divided, disconnected?

How can I, one soul, rail against fear fueled hatred that buckles will?

How can I, one soul, relieve the poverty that cripples minds and limbs?

How can I, one soul, vanquish the faceless, ego masturbator, corrupter?

How can I, one soul, stave off starvation, gluttony, excessive insufficiency?

How can I, one soul, save the dreams of children disabused of childhood?

How can I, one soul, prevent the willful, blind destruction of sentient life?

How can I, one soul, bemoan life’s evils without first asking Why can’t I?

Lisa x

 

 

FOWC: Wall

You can’t see over, unscalable summit

You can’t see through the feather light density

You can’t see under, unfathomable depths

You can’t see round, a glimpse of infinity

You can’t see over, unscalable summit

You can’t see through the feather light density

You can’t see under, unfathomable depths

You can’t see round, a glimpse of infinity

You can’t see unwillingly fabricated

You can’t see erratically erected walls

You can’t see me, trying to break through to you.

Another little ditty written in response to a gentle nudge from Fandango and his one word prompt…..

Lisa x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life

I know you’re there, I can feel you nudging at me

Like a playful puppy or a rabid wolf, in turns

Roller coaster ride, infinite slowness

Sharp, breathless descent into

I know you’re there, I can feel you nudging at me

Like a playful puppy or a rabid wolf, in turns

Roller coaster ride, infinite slowness

Sharp, breathless descent into

Dark tunnels, rapid turns

Onto? What next?

The unanswerable query

Not knowing the unknowable

Bungee jump adrenaline spiked fall

Or drifting on the current of a gentle stream

Fighting, searching for the ultimate question to ask.

Lisa

x