Be Seen

Good morning blogging world! I have a question for you – have you ever come across something that touches you or resonates with you at exactly the moment that you need it? Something happens and you feel as though the Universe itself is speaking to you? I had exactly that experience yesterday and I’d like to share what it was I came across with you.

Good morning blogging world! I have a question for you – have you ever come across something that touches you or resonates with you at exactly the moment that you need it? Something happens and you feel as though the Universe itself is speaking to you? I had exactly that experience yesterday and I’d like to share what it was I came across with you.

Ever since I lost my husband, 5 years ago now, I have almost been hiding from the World. I don’t mean that I’ve been living like a hermit in a cave but I have stopped myself from making meaningful connections with the world at large. I have my friends but, beyond that, I find it extremely difficult to engage with strangers, I don’t like meeting new people and I don’t like going to places, especially new places, on my own. I always put it down to being shy or unsociable but, last night, I realised it’s because I haven’t wanted to be seen. I haven’t wanted to open myself up to people, be vulnerable in front of them, so I put on a mask and hide behind it. That way I don’t have to engage with other people and, although my mask is only in my mind, it’s also meant that other people haven’t engaged with me and that’s meant that I’ve felt lonely for a very long time. Obviously there was something in me that wanted to try because I have opened up with you guys on occasion but, then again,  I can’t see you and, more importantly, you can’t see me.

I have also, since I was a child, struggled with the idea of not being ‘good enough’. I’ve always tried my best and by no means have I failed at the things I’ve attempted in life but I’ve always felt second rate. I have often put on a veneer of confidence but one word of criticism, one negative judgement and the whole thing would fall apart leaving me feeling ashamed and inadequate. What that does for the psyche is to give me another brick to put in the wall that I’ve surrounded myself with, another excuse not to engage with people and ‘proof’ that I am right not to do so.

This isn’t an idea that I’ve come up with; it was explained to me by a woman called Brene Brown in a YouTube video that I came across last night and it had a profound effect on me. More accurately, there were two things she said that tore away the blinkers from my eyes and made me view my world entirely differently:

Have the courage to be imperfect

Have the courage to be seen

Over 10 million people have watched this 20 minute video – now I understand why. If you haven’t seen it already, I really hope that you enjoy it as much as I did and, if you have a spare minute, I’d love it if you’d share something that’s had this kind of profound effect on you.

The last thing I want to say is: I am not perfect and I do, finally, want to be seen.



Author: All About Life

Middle-aged 20 something

44 thoughts on “Be Seen”

  1. Wow Lisa. That is incredible. I don’t like being seen either, and if I went to church, for instance, I would go in quietly and slip into a pew not wanting anyone to see me. That was fine, until I ended up in a wheekchair. Now, I BATE going in, because there is always a performance getting me seated somewhere in a church that has hardly any room for wheelchairs. The very wheelchair itself makes me not want to be seen, for I hate it. I long to be standing up like everyone else, and wearing normal clothes like everyone else lol. But as for something like the video that you saw, I can’t think of anything that changed my perspective so radically. The only thing I CAN think of is when I was 13 someone told me God loved me. That changed my life for EVER as I craved love as I was not loved at home. I became a theologian in later life, trying to plumb the depths of everything including zgod and the world. So yes,bthat one moment changed me for ever. I think also that watching Zmooji spoke to me a lot. You can see him on videos online too. I just love him. Great post Lisa, and I am SO glad that you had that experience 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. All I can say to that is that your wheelchair doesn’t define you – you are no less of a beautiful person sitting down than you are standing up :O)
      I can totally see how being told that you are loved could have such a profound effect on you – there’s no greater feeling in the world than being loved :O) xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so right about being loved, Lisa. No, my wheelchair does not define me, but it makes me morre visible. That, like you, was something I hated, but was made to feel over and over again that my wheelchair was a nuisance since they could not find space for me. Bthey still can’t so I no longer go to any church now. No spaces. But the faith remains with me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s ok Lisa. Got used to it now. But what I was really saying was that I relate so strongly to the not wanting to be seen thing 😊. I really do understand that one, but I am so glad you have had that releasing experience. Xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I had known you didn’t know Brene’s work. I would have introduced you! I have the same issues, having had time (a LONG time), especially after a heartbreak, of not wanting to be seen. One day, though, I decided that I was good enough and wanted to be seen (as you have here). Now, I’m in a choir, and I’m singing a SOLO, like I did when I was little. Long story there, but all that to say, BRAVO to you! I see you! And I am excited you want to venture back into a world where you are SEEN!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought we were engaging quite well. *smiles*

    I know it took me some time to want to go out. I knew I did not want to be alone. Nick did not want me to grieve long. Which of course is impossible…I’ll grieve for him the rest of my life. He didn’t want me to be alone either. But it took over 2 1/2 years before I felt comfortable with Gary. The other guys I dated I kept finding things wrong with them so I did not have to commit to being one on one with them. Not so with Gary. Maybe it was just him. Maybe it was that I was ready. Everyone is different.

    Good luck Hon. It is hard to ‘get out there’ and be seen again. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lisa, this touches me because it describes so much of what I felt all of my life, right up to the day I got clean (sober). I still have days when I feel like this, but they are far less frequent. All that to say, I feel you. And I’m sending you (((hugs)))

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I first became aware of Brene Brown oddly enough because one of my WP buddies sent me one of her books. She is great.
    Though for different reasons my transition has been similar to yours. Be prepared though – after being reserved for so long it can be quite overwhelming to be anything else. Sometimes the attention is exhausting and it is a real fight not to withdraw again. I wish you the very best Lisa. xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It was called the Power of Vulnerability. Although it is an audio book it is a conference that was recorded, it took me a while to get through it but I did enjoy it.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I think once we get a better handle on what underlies is fear of vulnerability maybe we are one step closer to trying to becoming more real and visible. I am sure so many would relate to this. I love that jumping dog image… Also when you carry such a big grief I don’t think its unnatural to be fearful of how others will respond and grieving does require a retreat for a time from the every day world. Maybe now is your time to be moving forward. xoox

    Liked by 1 person

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