“What’s going on down there now?” said with delicate mastication and a small spray of biscuit crumbs
“Don’t sneak up on me like that! You made me jump and look…oh bugger….I’ve spilled my tea” There is much huffing and ineffectual wiping that does little to stem the steady flow as it makes its way across the desk
“So much for ‘all seeing'” snickers quietly
“What was that? Hmmm what did you say?” It’s surprising how effective hearing can become when an insult is in the wind.
“Nothing boss. Anyway, what’s going? Anything interesting?” He looks down onto the factory floor, trying to divert his bosses attention, not realising for several seconds that his left elbow is resting in a puddle of rapidly cooling tea “Sod it!”
“Mind your language! Not very much to be honest, all the usual: nice people being shot and complete bastards enjoying life; you know how it is”
“MY language!!? I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s that Dump bloke been up to lately? Did the essence of sheep have any effect when we brought him in for reprogramming?”
“Nope, not one iota and I’d made a fresh, extra concentrated batch especially; he’s still determined to put a bloody great metal wall across half my factory, damn cheek! Are you going to put the kettle on?”
“grumble…….it’s always me that makes the tea…….moan……mumble” There is the sound of a kettle being filled with much bad grace.
“And don’t forget the hobnobs while you’re at it. Do you know, I just don’t get it. Why would you want to shut yourself behind a huge wall, it makes no sense to me at all”
“Are you talking literally or metaphorically boss? Tea’s up by the way and we’ve run out of hobnobs but I managed to find some jammy dodgers”
“Literally. Mmm thanks, are those the ones with the cream in the middle or just jam?”
“Just jam. I don’t know guv, I mean, he’s got the walls of that big white house he lives in, walls around the gardens, people with guns behind those……makes you wonder what he’s afraid of really. I mean it’s not like he’s going to end up with all the good people on one side and all the bad ones on the other. Talk about naive” this was said with a slight pause mid-sentence to dislodge a particularly sticky smidgen of jam that had welded itself to the roof of his mouth and a roll of the eyes.
“Oh you know I don’t like those, have we got any shortbread? Yes, I’ve been wondering that too, so I’ve decided….oooh thanks, I thought we were out of hobnobs” happy munching ensues.
“Oh, yes, right. I’ve decided to give him something to be really afraid of; can you go and get me one of those lightening bolts we keep stashed behind the hall cupboard?”
“You sure boss, they’re a bit old fashioned and not all that accurate if I remember rightly”
“I don’t need them to be that accurate but I will need a few of them if you don’t mind; can you see what stock we’ve got left? I think I’ll have some fun keeping him behind his walls for a little while….literally and metaphorically” There is an evil gleam in the eye that really shouldn’t be there but that won’t come as a surprise to most people……..