Have you ever wondered what the World would be like as viewed from the perspective of the grand creator? Well, read on……….
Sometime before we arrived on the scene, this was going on.
“What the bloody hell is that?” A booming voice called out across the factory floor
“I am not quite sure what to call it to be perfectly honest with you but, you’ve got to admit boss it’s impressive”
The second voice was deferential, if calling someone boss counts as such; it was also trying to sound encouraging.
“It’s big, that’s all and it’s not all about the size you know”
There was no real reprimand, more weariness from one who has had this conversation more than once
“That’s not what I’d heard…..” snigger
“Stop it now” One delicately raised but slight menacing eyebrow was enough to curtail the sniggering
“But I like making them big boss and it’s not like we haven’t got the space” this said with much arm waving and gazing around as if this would somehow reinforce the point being made.
“Yes. I know. The problem is that you never stick to the bloody design; I spent ages coming up with the concept of a predator to balance things out down there and what have you done? The head’s nothing but teeth, the eyes are like piss holes in the snow………”
“What’s snow boss” curiosity got the better of him
“It’s something new I’m working on but I can’t get the temperature quite right, it’s giving me some real headaches I can tell you….Don’t change the subject! As I was saying, it’s got those teeny tiny little arms which are completely useless, I mean, how is it going to catch its prey?”
He was rarely ratty but this mucking about with his designs was getting way out of hand.
with a beaming smile he flicked the on switch, located under the smallest toenail of the right foot (in case you were wondering)
Sometime later when the off switch had been flicked (located in the left testicle so you had two options if you really needed to slow the thing down) and all the mess had been cleared up..
“I’ve made a cup of tea boss if you fancy one and I found some chocolate biscuits”
With a rictus grin he put down the tray and scuffed his toe gently along the floor, not looking up.
“How many of them are there down there?”
Resigned now, slightly tired after the sprint round the factory but still feeling satisfied that his boot had found the off switch he waited.
“Umm, a few. Well, quite a lot actually. Not sure it was my best work to be honest boss, they do seem to be causing a bit of havoc”
The toe scuffing continued and there was definitely a hint of embarrassment in the air.
“Right, so as bloody usual, I’ve got to sort out the mess, yes?”
“Ummm, yes…….sorry” The embarrassment that had been in the air was now stuck to his face
“Typical! Right, never mind, I think I can work something out with the snow, take the temperature down a bit, see if I can make it solid and use that to stop the buggers”
He looked thoughtful for a moment and said
“I’ve got to ask, did you ever come up with a name?”
Embarrassment rescinded a tad and a touch of pride took its place
“I did as it happens……Tyranosaurus Ralph; what do you think”
He helped himself to a biscuit, safe in the knowledge of a job well done, or at least, part of a job not totally bodged.
“I think it needs work” he tried very hard not to roll his eyes “pass the biscuits”.
“And, incidentally, next week you’ll be working on something a bit different, just until I’ve got Ralph under control”
“Yes boss, anything you say, have you got the plans?”
He was eager to redeem himself; now he’d heard ‘Ralph’ said out loud his pride had wandered off looking a bit sheepish and was refusing to come back.
“What? Oh yes, over there. They’re called birds until I can come up with a better name and they’re a bit fiddly”
He was concentrating on the carnage going on down below and wondering if he had time to sort out the snow problem; he could just throw some bloody great rocks at them he thought
“Is this to scale boss? They’re a bit small”
He turned the drawing round a few times but it didn’t make a scrap of difference